track 19

third eye blind is cool and all, but they aren’t my favorite band. in fact, i don’t really overly-like any of their other songs. however, this has been my favorite song for nine years straight. i adore it and it never gets old for me. heck, this song was basically the inspiration for my last and biggest tattoo. the song strikes me for many reasons: icarus (my favorite mythological creature and alter ego), the romance, the dedication, the forgiveness, the reality of it. i could discuss this song and what it means to me all day.

if they put a score to the movie that is my life, i’ve finally decided where this song would play. it would be the epic video montage from july-october 2010, january-present 2012, and anything i’ve done in the time between in response/reference to the relationships from those time periods. that’s right. i’ve thought it’s made sense in other situations, but when it came on while i was getting ready this morning, i had to hit repeat. nearly every line of this song relates:

 

just an old friend coming over now to visit you, and…that’s what I’ve become. 
i let myself in though i know i’m not supposed to, but i never know when i’m done.
and i see you fogging up the mirror, vapor ’round your body glistens in the shower.
and i want to stay right here and go down on you for an hour– or stay,
and let the day just fade away in wild dedication. take the moment of hope and let it run and never look back at all the damage we have done now to each other, to each other, to each other.

’cause when i see you, it’s like I’m staring down the sun. and i’m blinded!
there’s nothing left to do. and still i see you. 

i never believed that things they happen for a reason, and they never go as planned. i wanted to thank you for a vision that was lost that you returned, but you’re passed where you understand.
now her appetite is blown.
little else is known, except she a little angry, grabs a towel and looks away.
and heat fades with the day
and i fall down on what to say–oh, something clean.
let me be clever: ‘hey, oh well, whatever,’ but that’s not what i mean.
where we’ve been has left us burned still i won’t turn now from a fight you know i’ll never win.

so when i see you, you know all the things i’ve done.
well, i’m blinded like i’m staring down the sun when I see you.
when i see you. 
when i see you it’s like I’m staring down the sun, yea!
hey, i’m blinded! hey, i’m blinded. hey, i’m blinded.

time, it passes and it tells us what we’re left with.
we become the things we do.
me, i’m a fool spent from defiance.
yea, you got me, but i didn’t give up on you.
icarus is not a tee shirt or a swan song, no, he is born again.
and it’s not easy being me, but i can’t promise i will mend
or bend when you believe that we are fixed now from our birth.
and i’ve just fallen back to earth–still you know i’ll try again,
’cause i believe that we are lucky, we are golden,
we have stolen manners in the days when we were one.

so when i see you, despite all that we’ve become–
i’m still blinded, but i’m still staring down the sun,
when i see you. when i see you. when i see you. 
when i see you.

oh yea, i’m still staring down the sun.
oh yea, i’m still staring down the sun!
oh yea. well, i’m still staring down the sun.
i’m blinded when i see you.
when i see you.
when i see you!”

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